Realistically, how can the Padres NOT sweep the Giants? Also, Madison Bumgarner is a butthead.

After a crushing sweep of the terrible Doyers, the Padres get ready to pound the stupid fartface Giants.  Clouded by controversy the past few weeks, the Padres are sending Edinson Volquez to the mound who really couldn't be any worse than he has been so far this season, so there's that to look forward to.  They are facing awful Madison Bumgarner, who was captured here in an off the record convo with Tim Lincecum:

Padres Win! Matt Kemp Is The Worst.

After a thrilling and crushing victory for the Padres last night, led by our newest power hitting star Eric Stults, the Padres can continue crushing the Dodgers and their weenie "star" Matt Kemp tonight.  It's good to see that Eric Stults is averaging more home runs for the season than Matt Kemp by a MATHEMATICALLY INFINITE AMOUNT.  Tonight our big dollar free agent acquisition, Jason Marquis, is taking the hill.  I actually think he is one of our top 2 starters at this point so let's hope for the best.  Today's Padres Jagoff captures Matt Kemp in a compromising act:

  


Are we that surprised after seeing his curated selection of this leather satchel to wear into a post-brawl fight in the parking lot?