Obligatory Mid Season Padres Review

It is pretty standard fare for a baseball blog to recap their teams' first half during the All Star break, and despite not being recognized by Sports Illustrated along with the #cliqueblogs in this week's Padres article, Padres Jagoff is soldiering on.  So here we are.  13 games under .500, one of the worst hitting performance team-wide maybe in history, wasting great pitching effort after great pitching effort, firing our at the very least adequate GM, firing our longtime PA announcer for a hokey and little understood publicity stunt, etc.  It is maybe the worst Padres season EVAR.  But to be objective, let's go to the tape and look at every team category:

3B: I've long been in favor of trading Chase Headley. I've put that on the record. Josh Byrnes' biggest folly was not trading him after the 2012 season, and failure to do so will set this team back substantially.  At this point, I don't think we're even in qualifying offer territory with him for fear of him accepting.  In short, he's sucked.  He had a little bit of a "hot" streak, relatively speaking, at the end of the 1st half, but he is sitting on a putrid OPS+ of 87. I think, best case, we are looking at a B level prospect for him at the trade deadline.

 

SS: Everth Cabrera, what happened to our 2013 All-Star?  His fielding sucks, his hitting sucks, he's not stealing bases like last season.  I've found it to be very selfish of him to go off the 'roids when the team needs him on them more than ever.  I think we can no longer count on him as SS of the future and need to figure out something long term.  Chris Gomez lives down the street from me, I'll try and ask him if he wants to come back. 

2B: So I think Wayne Partello and Mike Dee did some market surveys and saw that San Diego fans grew frustrated never having any continuity with our "star" players.  They saw a glimmer of possibility that Jedd Gyorko would fill that role and thought, hey marketing win and baseball win to sign him long term.  The thing is, there was no reason to.  2B don't drastically escalate their salaries in arbitration, and they didn't get that huge a discount anyways.  At this point, after his OPS+ of 39, he is looking at one of the worst offensive seasons in history.  Sure, he had plantar fascitis.  Great.  That's the thing with this team, every under-performance gets blamed on a lingering injury and never declining skills.  Chase Headley swooned at the plate last year - knee injury that he "heroically" played through.  Carlos Quentin - bad knee, not geriatric skills, etc.  We have no choice but to just keep hoping Jedd plays through it and improves.  I believe he will.  With Byrnes gone, the team, if needed can send him to AAA to work on his swing.  I don't think Byrnes could have done that politically after signing him to that extension.  Also we have no other options at 2B. Like none.

1B: I know everyone wants to point at Yonder Alonso's 2013 and say, look!  105 OPS+!  Above average!  But he has totally blown this year.  I don't think there's much debate that Yonder is going to be a no hit, decent fielder.  Maybe Casey Kotchman if everything works out. For me, that doesn't cut it, and 1B needs to be an area of improvement.  I was a big fan of signing Mike Morse last season but think he will be overpriced this offseason, so I'm not really sure what our options are. 

C: I think if there's one thing to be happy about, it's been the catcher position.  Grandal and Rivera have been great pitch framers.  Rivera is hitting better than we could have ever expected, and Grandal isn't hitting great but is at least flashing decent power.  It almost makes me think Austin Hedges is totally expendable while his value is high.  I swoon for Hedges' defense, but his hitting is not that great.  I heard a comp for Hedges saying he was a Brad Ausmus in the making.  That's great, but that's not a franchise player.  Fangraphs just did their Top 50 Trade Value and the Padres had no one on it.  We have no one to trade to get real value in the majors, meaning to get upgrades in other places, we need to think seriously about trading a guy like Hedges.  I worry that his average at best offensive skills will take its toll on his prospect rankings and sink his trade value by next Spring Training.

OF: For the past couple years, I have repeatedly heard the phrase "Carlos Quentin is a beast when healthy".  For whatever reason, this is taken as gospel.  That if we just get lucky with his health, Quentin will be great again.  Here is a chart of Carlos Quentin's health:

As you can see in this scientific diagram, "when healthy" is a status for Quentin that needs to be taken with a grain of salt.  A healthy Quentin is roughly equivalent to the health of a leper.  At this point, the Padres can't even trade him.  His OPS+ is 77 and he is a risk to literally have a leg fall off at any time, all while making big bucks (for the Padres).  I'd be fine with the Padres DFA'ing him and running Rymer Liriano or Reymond Fuentes out there next season.  As for the rest of the outfield, I have nothing to say about them.  They are that vanilla.  The only real plus is that Amarista has had to play infield to fill in for injuries, meaning he hasn't been in CF much at all. 

Starting Pitching: The true bright spot for this team.  Son of Troy Ian Kennedy has rediscovered how to strike people out.  Tyson Ross has learned how not to walk 6 people a game.  Odrisamer Despaigne has made himself Padres Jagoff's new favorite pitcher with his arsenal of tenacious junk pitches.  Jesse Hahn has a curveball I'd like to get pregnant.  Oddly enough, the only disappointment is Andrew Cashner, who as usual, can't stay healthy.  I know this is an unpopular opinion (like my Austin Hedges opinion), but I'd trade Cashner this offseason if you can get a good package for him.  We've got Luebke, Erlin, Wieland, Kelly all coming back from surgery.  You've got Wisler in AAA also.  He's sucking, but Despaigne had an ERA over 7 there and now he's basically Randy Jones in 1976.  Eric Stults is still breathing, so he's got that going for him.  Which is nice.

Relief Pitching: Another bright spot.  Huston Street did well enough to net 4 good prospects from the Angels.  Joaquin Benoit is doing well enough to hopefully garner a handful of other prospects.  Blaine Boyer and Alex Torres have been decent out of the pen.  Basically, in the grand scheme of all of the Padres suckitude, the bullpen has not contributed to the sucking.  Grand words for a team this bad.

Manager: I'm of the belief that manager doesn't do that much.  Bud Black changes the lineups and all, and I guess I get annoyed when I see Amarista in CF, but it seems like he's doing the best he can with the sack of crap that got handed to him.  The players seem to like playing for him and I think that's really all you can ask.  I've got even money odds that he stays here next season, regardless of GM hire.

Front Office: I've made it no secret that I'm not a fan of this front office.  I will never understand the logic that went into setting up an organizational structure where the head of baseball operations, Josh Byrnes, is reporting directly to Mike Dee, a marketing executive who was completely out of baseball for four years prior.  Organizationally, a marketing guy had the last word on player personnel decisions.  We saw this play out with the drafting of Manziel, which clearly, was not Josh Byrnes' idea.  Dee, being a marketing guy, is slick with his public statements, to the point where you need to really read between the lines.  He's like an attorney, carefully crafting his words to be technically truthful, but deceiving to the untrained ear.  This played out with the Street statements he made to the fans on Padres Social Hour/season ticketholder telecon.  Ballpark operations did a great job improving the stadium experience, at least at the start of the season.  Beer was improved, food was improved, people were talking positively about the changes.  And then they totally blew it with #beergate, hiking the prices of beer months ago by changing the craft beer quantity, charging the same price, and not updating the signs until a couple weeks ago.  Most people, including the legal community, would consider this outright fraud.  The Padres just write it off as an "honest mistake" [that netted them and their contractor DNC roughly 20% more in revenue for months of beer sales through the stealth price hike].  The elimination of free Western Metal Supply porch standing room only in favor of $40 stools was an abortion of a move from the fan's standpoint.  Wayne Partello, for a guy that was a mobile DJ only 4 years ago, has had a real upward career trajectory.  Unfortunately, the initiative to fire a perfectly good PA announcer for a three ring circus of a PA internet voting promotion landed with a thud.  The "cross-promotion" with FSSD pushing the thousands of dollar on-deck suite was patronizing and annoying to their fans.  The National University eyesore in LF is hated by pretty much every fan.  I get that they're trying to maximize revenue generation, but at least be tasteful about it.

So that's that.  Things really can't get any worse this season.  I'm in favor of blowing 2015 up as well, running youth out there, and maybe getting a spark from high effort youthful play.  We'll see if the new GM will be allowed to do that.  For now, we'll always have beer and pals to get us through the rest of this season.

Padres Jagoff Hits the Big Time with Beergate Exposure

So I went to the Monday night game expecting to throw some Mat Latos fat jokes around and hopefully not see the Padres get shut off.  But even more unexpected than the hot streak that started that Monday night with a victory was how my tweets about the Padres reducing the San Diego craft beer quantities from 24 ounces to 20 ounces took hold.  As I tweeted that night, I was a little perplexed about whether SD craft beers had always been 20 ounces, or if my mind was playing tricks on me, because I distinctly remembered them being 24 ounces a few weeks prior.  As I found out, I was right, the Padres snuck a reduction in quantity in during the Dodgers homestand a couple weeks before.  Jay Posner from the U-T started asking questions via Twitter, which led to Matthew T. Hall from the U-T getting involved.  And boy did he.  It all culminated in an article that documented everything, got Padres comment, and hopefully incited the public (it even sat atop utsandiego.com for a day).  My life's dream to start a Lobshots-esque viral controversy had come true (except this was about something that kind of really mattered, not an umpire throwing gum).

Matthew Hall pretty well covered it, and I don't have anything to add to the reporting.  I am left with a few questions and a bit of analysis due to the Padres woefully inadequate and evasive statements.  To recap, here is what Padres vice president Scott Marshall said regarding beergate:

"Marshall apologized in a telephone interview and said the ballpark began selling smaller cups after the team's "first or second home stand" — which were played in April." - U-T

"'It was just an honest mistake on our concessionaire partner's side," Marshall said. "It comes down really to the cost of what it is.... It's a mistake coming from the fact that we introduced so many 'super' crafts, and our concessionaire, for whatever reason, missed it.

"It was just an unfortunate experience and we corrected it, and we hope we didn't affect anybody adversely or give them a poor experience," he said. "We apologize."

"What do you say to the fans who will still complain they're now paying more for beer?" I asked.

"We have a variety of pricing for all our fans from $5 to $15.25 depending on type, size and alcohol content," he said." - U-T

So basically, according to the Padres, they have known about the "mistake" since April, and it is really all Delaware North's fault, who is the Padres' concessions contractor.  

1.  I don't see this as just an "honest mistake".  Fans have been defrauded by the Padres since April.  The team's signage at the stands, corroborated by many including Matthew Hall, had said 24 ounces.  Fans buying a beer would reasonably expect to receive 24 ounces.  In fact, this is the entire basis for weights and measures, as well as labeling, laws.  When you buy gas, you expect that the pump is giving you a gallon when you are charged a gallon.  In this case, the team is legally bound to deliver 24 ounces to the customer, as that is what has been labeled for that product.  The fact that they didn't, is outright fraud in the amount of 17% of the purchase price.  On one beer, that's not much, but when played out to cover 4 homestands' total SD craft beer sales, that's a lot of money that is legally and duly owed to those customers.  An enterprising young lawyer could assemble a nice class action lawsuit on behalf of these defrauded customers, who, yes Scott Marshall, were affected "adversely".

2.  So, in the end, we're talking a couple bucks per beer.  It's not like it'll kill us.  But I think it's an example of a bigger issue with this management team: the gradual erosion and elimination of the things that were good values for the fans in the name of crass revenue maximization.  For years, the first come first serve Western Metal Supply porch was lauded by tour guides and the team.  It was a great value, as even if you had a Park at the Park ticket (more on them later), if you were on the ball, you could land a stool at the porch.  No longer.  The team has monetized those seats into $40/game tickets.  The Park at the Park was $5 not too long ago.  Now you are looking at $10-15, depending on the game.  To sit outside of the stadium and view a jumbotron.  It's no longer a value at all, considering you can get seats in sections 300-305 on Stubhub for $10.  The National University sign, universally hated, is gigantic, blocks the small view of the field you used to be able to get at Proper Gastropub, and blocks the view of the skyline for many seats.  All in the name in a little more marginal revenue.  Which brings us to beer.  The team is awful this season.  The team is boring to watch.  In most cases, other teams CUT prices to beer to keep people coming out to the park.  This management team sees an opening and sneaks in a price hike (a quantity cut IS a price hike) to beer.  At one time, the 24 ounces for $10.75, or even for $11.50, could be justified as a good deal.  I had out of town friends go to the games with me be outraged at the beer price.  I rationalized it as, hey, it's basically two 12 ounce cans of GOOD BEER for $11.50; $5.75 for a can of Calico Ale is not that bad, especially for a ballpark.  Now I can't even use that rationalization.  This is so totally tone-deaf to the sentiment of the fans by Mike Dee and this management team.

3.  Assuming Scott Marshall's statements are true, that reveals that he, the VP of ballpark operations, is so woefully inadequate at his job that it's unbelievable.  Of course, they are more likely not true, but that's besides the point.  You're telling me that the VP of ballpark operations, who walks around the park all the time checking on operations, and that all of his staff under him, never noticed that beers were selling at the "wrong price"?  Beer prices, one of the primary drivers of concessions revenue, was never noticed by anyone in ballpark operations staff??!?!  I find that very difficult to believe.  

4.  If you really want 24 ounces for $11.50, you still have options.  Inbev/AB beer Goose Island is still available at that price.  Not shocking considering they are a major sponsor.  The same goes for Kona, who sponsors a large group sales area along the left field line.  Still available (FOR NOW) at $11.50/24 ounces.  It's a shame that after all the empty talk of expanding the local craft beer base at Petco, we are now being economically discouraged from buying those beers.  

In the end, I'm not one of those bomb throwers who will say "let's just never go to any games!"  I like going to games because I love the Padres.  I don't necessarily enjoy feeling gouged or cheated, but I like going to Padres games.  I do hope Matthew Hall keeps pushing the Padres for change as he has the pull and readership to actually get something done.  We can only hope Mike Dee, aka the Turtle from Master of Disguise, gets the message.

P.S. The best part of all of this is that yet again, the LAMEstream media is refusing to say Padres Jagoff in print/on the air waves.  I was hilariously pseudonym'd to "one fan" in the post and article.  I feel like I'm missing out on millions in ad revenue due to the choice of names of this blog. 

Nuggets Related to the Josh Byrnes Firing

It's no secret that the last week has been a tumultuous one in Padres history.  The firing of Josh Byrnes resets so many things as far as team strategy, player development, and the way forward.  I don't want to get too into the reasons for the firings as pretty much every national baseball writer has written about it, almost universally against the Padres management team/ownership and pro Josh Byrnes.  I think this shows the level of respect that Byrnes has in the baseball community, which was also no secret.  In short, I am in support of the firing but thought Byrnes was doing an OK job.  Good at trades, able to find some useful pieces off the scrap heap, the drafting was OK especially if Hunter Renfroe keeps it up through the season and into next.  I also think this team needed a fresh start.  It made sense that a new ownership group would want to install "their guy" as GM.  I don't think it was politically possible to do this last season without making ownership look bad for blowing up a GM team that had put together a team with potential.  They needed the Padres to tank to give them political cover to fire him and get their guy in there.  Byrnes was always a dead man walking.  There was no bigger Moorad guy than Byrnes, which as we saw with Garfinkel, is a big no-no with this ownership group.  Anyways, the point of this isn't to rehash what has been covered so well by Jonah Keri, Scott Miller, Peter Gammons, Tom Verducci and pretty much every other writer on the entire Earth.  With this much coverage of the Padres, which is so rare and so awesome in a way, you get a lot of interesting nuggets that get overlooked by the larger narrative.  I wanted to examine some of these that I've picked up on.

1.  Future Payroll: In an interview with Darren Smith last week, Mike Dee had a brief mention of payroll in relation to what the ownership's expectations were.  As we've heard Mike Dee say, ownership invested more money in this year's payroll and expected to see an incremental improvement in the team.  And yes, payroll is up and has the Padres at 21st highest in MLB at the start of the season.  Mike Dee said that the target is to be in the "middle" of MLB payrolls and that they are "knocking on the door of this".  While the average person would view that goal as being around 15th in payroll which would put the Padres above the all important $100 mil level of payroll, I don't think this is what he's promising.  By saying they are knocking on the door of this [they're not], it leads me to believe that Dee is promising to be in the middle third of payrolls, i.e. ranked 11-20.  So, with another $1-2 million in payroll and Dee can start preaching that the team is now in the middle of MLB payrolls.  With another $3 million, he can say they are up to 17th in payroll.  Call me cynical, but I've found it valuable to really analyze what a slick marketing guy like Dee says.  I do not see this team adding much more payroll.  I'm not a payroll equals winning guy, and Rick from RJ's Fro wrote a great discussion of how team's that increased payroll by the highest percentage are not on the whole, doing that great.  Some of this is because the teams with very low payrolls get a higher percentage increase when they add payroll (math) than a team that is starting at $150 mil, so bad teams to start with make incremental increases to payroll percentage-wise but are still lower total payrolls.  But some of it is also that smart spending beats more spending. 

2.  Competitive Team: Mike Dee has repeatedly stated in interviews that his expectation is for this team to compete year in and year out.  By compete, he of course means be somewhat competitive in the Wild Card standings by the end of the season.  Regardless, I think that his insistence on continually "competitive" teams, which is what has been promised to us for years, locks this team in on chasing mediocrity.  I think many of us have reached a consensus that the team needs to be blown up, a la the Astros, and have a competent GM rebuild this club from nothing.  Dee's a marketing guy first, interested in keeping the seats filled.  The team has had some success selling tickets with improved concessions and a team that is JUST competitive enough to incite some hope in the fans.  This rarely leads to a playoff or WS contending team, but it does lead to hope in the offseason and spring training, which sells tickets. 

3.  Johnny Manziel: Peter Gammons put on the record what we all suspected, Mike Dee and his marketing folks forced Josh Byrnes to waste a draft pick on Johnny Manziel.  Gammons reported, "'These are the people who showed disrespect and contempt for their scouts and entire baseball operations people by forcing Josh to draft Johnny Manziel,' said one NL General Manager."  Back when the draft pick was made, Byrnes was a good soldier and covered for upper management, saying it was "fun". 

4.  CEO-like GM: Scott Kaplan reported yesterday that his "inside sources" at the Padres said that upper management saw Josh Byrnes more as a #2 guy.  That he would have been appropriate in the role that AJ Hinch is in.  They saw him as more of a great scouting guy, but not the "CEO" type of manager Dee is looking for.  Obviously, many of the potential GM candidates being reported cut their teeth as great scouts.  Not sure what this means for who they'd hire, but I'd assume great scouting and draft records is not going to be enough.  Dee is looking for a certain panache and corporate style of management to pair with good baseball ops experience.

5.  Minaya/Hinch/Towers: My totally unresearched guess is that Minaya/Hinch/possibly Towers may get interviews, but the team isn't that interested in hiring them as GM.  Courtesy interviews if you will.  I also wouldn't be at all surprised for the team to keep Minaya on in his role as Vice President.  Towers' name is being thrown out there, but I can't possibly see ownership actually hiring him.  It sounds like media fodder to me.

As uninspiring as this team is, it has been a little exciting to see some new names like Goebbert and Despaigne take the field.  In all truth, I wouldn't be opposed to seeing Jeff Francoeur or Brooks Conrad get called up once Chase Headley gets shipped out for a C level prospect.  Let's not forget that I was right on top of what a franchise killer it would have been had the Padres signed Headley long term.

Blow This Team Up

A lot of talk today on the Tweeters about following the Houston model for blowing up this team and starting over.  First things first, I do not want Josh Byrnes handling this rebuild.  He's an incompetent blunderer who shouldn't be trusted with safety scissors, let alone a Major League team.  Second things, what do we really have of value to trade?

Chase Headley: at this point, nearly two years removed from his last good hitting year, we basically have Padres era Joe Randa on our team.  As a short term rental, what do we really think we are going to get for Chase?  He's a defense first 3B who isn't going to turn a pennant race on his own at this point.  Good luck getting any kind of decent return.  This is Byrnes' biggest mistake to date, not trading Headley after the 2012 season at peak value.  It's clear they had no real plans to sign him long term so why hold onto him?  Just incompetent.

Huston Street: really the only thing we have of value.  Past history has shown that closers aren't really attracting crazy returns anymore, but if we luck out with someone desperate due to bullpen implosions (Detroit?), it's possible we could get a couple B level prospects.

Chris Denorfia: trading Norf would suck, but let's face it, he's a fourth outfielder.  If we can get a B level prospect for him, take it. 

Beyond that, what do we really have?  People aren't going to be banging the door down for Eric Stults.  Unlike many, I'm all in favor of trading Austin Hedges for a bonafide impact bat that is Major League ready.  Hedges is swoon worthy for sure, but he's a defense first catcher with maybe OK hitting skills.  He's not Buster Posey or Joe Mauer, he's a solid defensive catcher with great release and arm.  I should reiterate, I do not trust nor want Byrnes dealing Hedges.  But if the right deal comes along, I'd take it.  Of all our prospects, I don't see Hedges as untouchable. 

After this embarassing series loss to Philadelphia, I think the best we can start hoping for is for the axe to fall on Byrnes and the entire baseball operations staff.  I'm ambivalent on Bud, I don't think this is his fault and I do think in the past, he's gotten his undertalented teams to overperform, but if he gets swept up in the frenzy, so be it.  Let's just get it done so we can have a competent GM handling the rebuild.

Fowler and the Padres Take A Dump on Bringing Back the Brown

I was away last weekend on family business up in Washington.  My best laid plans at the start of the season to go to the Saturday and Sunday games flew out the window and I had to give away my tickets.  I sat on the toilet last night for a hearty dump, checked Twitter, and saw things were afire.  Ron Fowler spoke with AP reporter Bernie Wilson, stating that it was only a "vocal minority" in favor of switching the uniforms to brown.  He of course based this on likely fabricated "research" and "studies", but whatever.  It's a classic case of why you hire a PR or marketing guy to handle comments with the press as Fowler came off sounding like nothing but a doddering old man with little to no grip on reality.  Which could be true.  I don't know.  I can only go off of the quotes.

Anyways, the arguments for going back to brown (building an identity, they look cool, uniqueness, not having a shampoo bottle logo, etc.) have been beaten into the ground.  I'm going to attempt to brainstorm what Fowler/the Padres' motivations are for keeping the blue, despite it alienating the team's most engaged and loyal fans. Wayne Partello, the team's Chief Marketing Officer, went on Padres Social Hour this week to try and do damage control.  Unfortunately, Partello offered nothing other than generalizations, slick marketing commentary, and some inconsistent arguments that didn't make sense once you scratch below the surface.  Specifically, he tried to tell the story that the team was in the process of conducting some brand identity studies (not even studies on the uniform program) and that study was so preliminary that there could be no details shared on it.  This is wildly inconsistent with the comments of Fowler regarding a "vocal minority" that was in favor of brown based on their studies, as well as wildly inconsistent with Partello himself, as Partello cited studies as well stating there was no broad majority supporting brown.  Either there are or aren't studies (there are), I believe moreso, the team just doesn't want to share these results.  I know for a fact that I, as a season ticket holder, have never been polled on which uniforms I prefer.  Partello also stated that the Friday attendance of Bring Back the Brown weekend was lackluster, apparently saying that brown weekends need to be total sellouts to garner any momentum of management, while blue can just putter along at all of the rest of the games with sub 20k attendance.  An unfair standard. 

In general, here is my basic analysis of Fowler and Partello's comments.  Fowler's comments were off the cuff, direct and unrehearsed.  Partello's comments were made by a marketing expert who had ample time to prepare comments, spin, and a narrative, all while being lobbed softballs by fellow Padres employee Jesse Agler.  If you're looking for the truth, I strongly believe Fowler's comments are probably much closer to it than Partello's.

Anyways, onto the analysis:

1. The PCL Uniforms: For several years now, the Padres management has been planting the seeds of the PCL uniforms being personal favorites of ownership.  They like the red, white and blue of them, and for whatever reason, they value the Padres minor league history much more than their Major League history.  Wayne Partello even planted the seed on his Padres Social Hour interview.  In my opinion, every time ownership/membership mentions the PCL uniforms, it is a calculated strategy to bring them into the public discourse.  I also believe this explains their strategy of more often referring to the brown movement as being pro-retro uniforms, rather than pro brown uniforms (whether retro or modernized).  That way, if they announce they are adopting the PCL uniform style, they can applaud themselves for listening to the fans and bringing back retro, all while avoiding a return to brown.  Considering Wayne Partello had a couple days to prepare for his Padres Social Hour interview, I have a hard time believing his mention of the PCLs was not calculated, planned and part of a larger strategy.  For reference, here are the referenced PCL unis (get excited for the team to look like the Washington Nationals instead of the Milwaukee Brewers!):



2.  Dual Jersey Profit Motive: When talk arises about why the Chargers don't just switch to the powder blues, an answer I've often heard has been that they enjoy the dual revenue stream of being able to sell current jerseys along with throwback powder blues.  It's possible that the Padres have done an analysis showing they can continue the current plan to sell current blue uniforms/hats/merch along with the concurrent Cooperstown Collection/retro brown uniforms/hats/merch and maximize their licensing revenue.  This analysis may (speculation) show that switching the current unis to brown would cannibalize the retro revenues, leading to lower total sales/licensing revenue.  I'm not sure how likely this is, but looking at this ownership group (led by private equity partners), I could see profit maximization being a huge priority for them.  In my experience, the most logical reason for business decision-making is often profit maximization, and in the case of continuing an unpopular uniform program, I have to assume that there is some revenue/profit advantage to the current blues.  I believe this is especially true when taking into account ownership/management's attempts to obfuscate the issue with fabricated "studies", deliberately muddling the retro vs modernized brown, and in general, ignoring their most loyal fans' wishes.

3.  Owners Just Don't Like Brown: It could be as simple as the team ownership just doesn't like brown.  Fowler is a carpetbagger, but has been in San Diego long enough to link the brown uniforms to an era with a lot of losing.  Or maybe he just hates brown.  Maybe when he was a kid, he'd throw away his brown, burnt sienna, and copper crayons.  Maybe Ron Fowler wants the team to continue using the blue of his alma mater, USD.  Who knows.  In the end, they are the ones who dropped hundreds of millions on this team, mix in a little hubris, and if they don't like brown, they can be petulant children and withhold brown from their loyal fanbase.  Whatever.  It's entirely possible.

4.  Rope A Dope: It's possible the team has been listening to the fanbase, their studies show brown will sell more but they just aren't ready to make an announcement.  They are just stringing us along, making us all pissed at them, and then out of the blue, possibly after a horribly awful season full of no offense and boring games (hey, like this one!), they will make a great fan-friendly announcement that the browns are coming back, making us forget about the terrible on-field performance and horrendous mismanagement coming from the GM's office.  I don't totally discount this.  While Partello is a slick marketing guy with some PR chops, he's not totally blind and deaf to the fan's outcry.  He hears it.  Now whether he has the power to change Ron Fowler and Peter Seidler's (remember, Fowler is a minority partner.  Seidler is the money man and the majority owner) mind, I have no idea. 

In the end, if I were betting, I believe #1 or maybe #2 are the most likely team motivations.  The team has made a concerted argument to make the following arguments: "studies" show the majority favor blue, constant creation of confusion about retro vs modern brown, a higher and extremely difficult bar for attendance to exceed to "prove" that the fans are backing brown (makes it easy to say the support just wasn't there; meanwhile this Tuesday's game in blue will be lucky to draw 10k to the park), and an unwillingness to share any of their research.  I don't think those arguments are made in a vacuum, they are made in a conference room while devising a PR and marketing strategy for a decision that may already have been made (remember, it takes years for a uniform program update to happen with all of the design, approvals, etc.).  Now imagine this.  Season ends, the Padres finished last.  Padres brass calls a press conference to unveil new uniforms.  Twitter goes crazy.  They say the following things: "We listened to the fanbase and heard their call for retro uniforms", "our extensive studies show that a large majority of fans support blue in the uniforms", "we believe we've created uniforms that are the best of both worlds", and hanging behind them are updated PCL unis.  Fowler will have a wide grin on his face.  I can totally see this happening.

P.S. I will also add. Taking an interview strategy from Louis CK, I submitted a #padresSH question to Partello asking "if Ron Fowler is in fact an alien from outer space that eats human flesh".  This question was suspiciously ignored.  Not sure if you're familiar with the idea of silence equaling consent, but this does leave open the possibility that Ron Fowler IS in fact an alien from outer space that eats human flesh.  Send that "now for something completely different" to Aramco to use in their stupid commercials.

Secrets of Petco Park

Totally ignoring the subpar onfield performance of the Padres this season, management has undertaken a few fan unfriendly policies to wring every last dollar out of Petco Park.  The team has proudly pointed out the first come, first serve seating on the Western Metal Supply porch since the park's inception.  It's always pointed out on the ballpark tours.  Unfortunately, in a cash grab move, the Dee regime has turned these into $40 ticketed stool seats, eliminating one of the more fan friendly policies.  Luckily for the educated fan, there are a plethora of secret benefits that still exist in Petco Park to squeeze a little extra value out of your ticket.

The Pier

In the old days, the glory of the Toyota Terrace was only to be seen by terrace ticket holders.  This was changed under the Garfinkel regime for the better, opening it up to all fans.  The Pier is tucked away next to the escalator up from the Gaslamp Gate.  It used to be the sushi bar, now it's a place for tacos and drinks with a decent bar to sit at.  It also features a first come first serve patio with table seating and a nearly identical view as the Western Metal Supply... And it's free.  Fight The Man.

Lolita's

Sure the team has made every effort to improve the concession and beer program and take the focus off the field.  To some degree that works, but as a season ticket holder, I'm at the park too often to blow $20 on a Cardiff crack sammie and a beer.  Luckily, Petco has a permissive outside food policy, and conveniently across the street sits better than half decent taco shop, Lolita's.  It's now a regular maneuver for me to duck out at the Park Ave gate around the 4th inning, walk across the street to Lolita's, and bring a $4 burrito back in time for the next inning.  This maneuver also works with other nearby places, and especially well with The Kebab Shop since you can put your order in online at your seat.  Ditto for calling in an order to The Dragons Den across the street for some Singapore noodles or sushi.

Family Restrooms

When the aforementioned Lolita's catches up to your digestive system a few innings later, no need to use the regular bathrooms to drop the kids off like a peasant.  Hidden in the stairwells are the xanadus for dumping.  Clean, spacious and private.

Mothers Nursing Room

For those with little humans that need nursing, no need to do it in your seat.  There's a mothers nursing room on the field level concourse at guest services next to the Mercado.  It's got a bottle warmer, a couch, wipes and privacy.  It's critical to ensure a good time with a baby.

The Seat Upgrade Arbitrage

I'm not sure how widely known the MLB At The Park app is, but it's got its own hidden secret.  Buried within is the Upgrade feature.  Basically, if you have a ticket into the park, even a Park at the Park ticket (which I found out now cost more than just getting a ticket from Stubhub as another example of new fan unfriendly policies), you can go on the app and upgrade your seat.  And it's a great deal, like so good it doesn't make sense to buy a field level ticket anymore.  Just upgrade.  On a recent weeknight game, a field level seat behind home plate was going for under $20.  Omni Premier Club was $17.  It's capacity controlled, so it makes sense to do it early - upgrades open 4 hours before first pitch.  At that point you are looking at roughly $30 for field level behind home plate.  That is a steal.

Value in Seats

In general, I find the Toyota Terrace to be drastically overpriced.  Same with the outfield seats.  For my money, the best value is in the upper deck, Section 300-306. These seats are above home plate and provide an outstanding view of the action.  Not only are there no obstructions to your straight on view, you can actually see the pitches, and this season the Stone Tasting Room is right across the concourse.

These are a few of my accumulated secrets of Petco.  As long as the team is imposing new fan unfriendly policies, it's your duty as a capitalist American to wring all the value you can out of your ticket.  Now, back to MS Paint Padres related dongs.

Padres to Beat Marlins? Maybe? Just a smidge of a chance possibly? Depressing state of affairs.

So Padres nation seems to be pretty beaten down lately.  And can you blame them?  This team is abysmal to watch.  Yeah, the pitching is good, and yeah, real baseball fans should like close, well pitched games.  But 2-1 games aren't quite as fun a) when your team is the one that scored 1, and b) when you seriously question your team's ability to ever score more than 1.  @bcline760 has helpfully been translating the lineup card the past couple games into a stats lineup card:

 That line up is horrendous.  The first week or so, I saw the so-called sensible bloggers and Tweeters pulling out the #SSS and the continuous snarky "it's a little early to get worried about the audience #snark #firstweek".  Well the whole #SSS thing is now a pretty big sample size.  Some would even say that we have a statistically significant sample to start making longer term judgements.  And that judgement is this is not a major league lineup.  I remember the media pointing out that last season's Marlins lineup sans Stanton during his injury was one of the worst major league lineups they've seen (Greg Dobbs at 1B anyone?).  This lineup is worse (and Yonder is worse than Greg Dobbs).  It is hard to win when your team is starting 4 players with sub .200 averages and your team has pretty much no power. 

The bigger issues are related to how long they can keep pushing those guys out there.  I mean, at this point, would the team be that much worse trying out Francoeur in RF?  To some degree, the team put it's money behind Venable and Gyorko with extensions, and it's biggest trade to date was to acquire Grandal and putrid Yonder Alonso, so it's tough for Byrnes to admit that he totally screwed up and is sending them down to the minors/benching them/releasing them/sending them to Abu Dhabi in an adorable box with Nermal.  Him acknowledging his errors is akin to him getting shoved out the door here, so don't expect to hear him on 1090 admitting them. 

I'm not sure where this team can go at this point.  The TV team and radio team keep hyping Carlos Quentin's return like he's Roger Maris in 1961.  He's not.  He's an above average hitter with a little pop, but he's no Jose Abreu, and doesn't have the skills to carry this team on his shoulders (especially considering he only plays 2 out of 3 games when healthy). 

Get used to more 2-1, 3-1 games that go to extra innings, this team's offense is not going to light it up.  And playing Jose Fernandez tonight won't help.  But hey, at least they cut the price on the Cardiff Crack sandwich, right?  And beer!  That's where this team's management focus is, and likely will continue to be the focus in the near future. 

Degarfinkelization: Why Can't We Keep The Good Stuff?

I don't think there's many Padres fans that think the Jeff Moorad regime was a great ownership group.  The team certainly didn't thrive under them, and Moorad oversaw the great Fox Sports San Diego fleecing of the team when he took hundreds of millions in advance money when selling the team for a big profit.  The opinions on his head marketing guy, Tom Garfinkel, are mixed.  Many blame him for the more recent uber-mediocre teams, but let's remember, he was a marketing guy that was thrust into the position of Team President because no one else was around to take the job.  People also forget that going to Petco Park was an overall mediocre gameday experience before Garfinkel sunk his claws into things.  Remember the days when the Toyota Terrace was closed to the public in a pathetic attempt to make loge seating seem exclusive?  Regardless of the good/bad you think are attributed to Tom Garfinkel, he's gone now, and much of his work is left behind.  Or at least was left behind.  While no official announcements were made, the Mike Dee/Wayne Partello marketing team has started a policy of Degarfinkelization of Petco Park, removing and ending many of the programs Garfinkel put in place.  While Dee/Partello (Deetello) have done a lot of good in terms of bringing in new vendors, running good promotions like the Swing for Your Seats campaign, extended giveaway nights to all in attendance, and starting new TV initiatives like Padres Social Hour, they have also reportedly been Degarfinkelizing programs for the sole purpose of removing the last vestiges of what the previous regime had in place. 

Padres Trail did a great job of detailing the quiet removal of the Padres military logo from merchandise (although we saw this week that the team is using it for certain in-game promotions on the scoreboard).  It wasn't a huge surprise for anyone that went to Fanfest as the team was blowing out anything with the military logo for $10-$20 including $100+ jackets.  This was a shame as the logo celebrated Navy tradition, and as much as the Padres try to ignore the local Navy presence and continually celebrate the Marines, the Navy is the core of the San Diego military community.  It was also a rad logo, that among the back the brown brigade, was one of the few instances of acceptable blue Padres wear.  As Padres Trail reported, "He [Padres store employee] implied that because the logo was a Tom Garfinkel initiative it had fallen out of favor."  Very petty reason to get rid of such a noble effort.

There are two other Degarfinkelization initiatives that have raised my ire in the past few weeks as well.  As I mentioned in my Secrets From the Ushers post, the team has quietly eliminated Breakfast at the Park.  I know we all had a good guffaw about Garfinkel's Breakfasttown USA comments, but for anyone that actually went to Breakfast at the Park, it was pretty cool.  Similar to Swing For Your Seats, it's really awesome to just step foot on the field.  It was even cooler to combine this with eating bacon and pancakes and having players playing catch 20 feet from you.  As a season ticket holder, it was always an awesome perk to be able to email your sales rep and get reservations for breakfast.  With family in town last weekend, it was the perfect opportunity to take them to a unique on-field experience and catch a game afterwards.  Unfortunately, after hearing from the ushers that it was done for, I canceled plans of attending that game as sans breakfast, it was a tougher sell for my sports-gene challenged family.  As the ushers told me, employee participation and thus labor costs were minimal to run Breakfast at the Park.  There was always demand, as there was always a long line for tables on Sunday mornings.  Even as a break even activity, it added value to season ticket holders packages, and really, just added a unique opportunity to build bonds with the team.  The ushers believed new management believed this was one of Garfinkel's signature gameday experience programs, and that that was the reason why it was eliminated. 

The other Degarfinkelization program cancellation is apparently the away game viewing at Park at the Park.  Garfinkel opened up the Park at the Park for every away game and showed the game on the jumbotron.  I saw on the Tweeter that this effort was no more.  This is a shame, as the cost to the Padres was minimal.  I can vouch that it was awesome to eat your lunch during day games and watch the game at the Park at the Park.  A lot of memories were made at these Away games at the park, and for something that doesn't cost much if anything, it seems petty to get rid of it in an effort to wash their hands of Garfinkelism. 

Look, I get it, new management team comes in and wants to create their own signature programs.  But most of us can agree that not everything that happened under the Moorad/Garfinkel regime was bad.  There's no reason to get rid of programs that were popular just because Garfinkel put them in place.  Hopefully Deetello can reconsider and give these Garfinkel initiatives new life.  Maybe sell craft beer at them, their #1 focus this season seems to be to maximize beer sales revenue anyways. 

Winning this Series, Crushing the Stupid Jagoff Giants, and Giving up on Yonder Alonso

So last night was fun.  Another riveting, offense powered delight of a game to watch.  Amidst the misery though, there was reason for optimism.  Bud Black is finally starting to evaluate other, non-Yonder Alonso options at 1B.  Throughout this season, most of the negativity has focused on either Alexi Amarista continually being used inappropriately at the top of the lineup and in CF, and how much Chase Headley totally sucks and how the Padres just can't sign him to a long term deal.  Admittedly, the Headley bashing has been a real blast and I truly believe signing him to a deal will sink this franchise for the next few years, but Headley has not been the most egregious issue in the lineup.  Team's expect their 1B to hold their weight with the bat and the team is getting production commensurate with a terrible, awful shortstop from their newly svelte 1B, Yonder Alonso.  People can cry small sample sizes, but the sample is going back years now of a 1B slap hitter that has no power.  He has not homered since last May.  It's not unheard of to have a 1B with no power, Casey Kotchman stuck around in the league for a while, um, I guess like Justin Smoak has had some mediocre power numbers for a while, but neither of these guys were performing nearly as badly as Yonder.  And finally, Bud has tried something new, putting Yasmani Grandal at 1B to try him out.  Grandal has been one of the few average hitters thus far, and I applaud the effort to get him into the lineup. 

At this point, I think it's time to give up on Alonso.  Or send him to El Paso, try to work with him to regain his power stroke, and let's see how that goes.  In the interim, play Grandal at 1B, get Blanks up here once he recovers from his injury, and start calling Ryan Klesko to get him here and back in his rightful place as Padre 1B for life. 

Petco Park Ushers Uncensored

I had the pleasure of going to an alumni group event on Saturday that included meeting boy millionaire Jedd Gyorko, provided all the Bud Heavy I could, and had a rotating cycle of totally awesome ushers.  For a long time, I've viewed ushers as being a thing that the less I dealt with them, the better.  This is probably rooted in being a boy at Jack Murphy and making every effort to sneak past the ushers to better seats.  Since the view from our group seating wasn't the greatest, I chatted up the ushers for well over an hour and learned a lot of interesting things.

1. More than anything, the thing that makes the ushers the sickest is having to look out at center field and see the number 6 retired.  They do not like Steve Garvey the player, and they do not like Steve Garvey the person.  Apparently, on several occasions, Steve Garvey has been a total dick to the ushers, and acts like a total primadonna when he comes to games.  Most of the ushers are long time Padres fans, and they see Steve Garvey for what he is - a Dodger.  I'm sure if you asked Steve, he'd say he was a Dodger too.  One usher said it was just a thing that Joan Kroc was hung up on, retiring his number.  Whatever, two of the ushers agreed that Garvey's number should be taken down and Nate Colbert's number should be retired instead.  I liked this, because it meant I got to chat about the great, forgotten Nate Colbert, the still current Padres all time HR leader.  The level of dislike for Garvey from the ushers was astounding, and awesome.

2.  I never thought about it before, but one usher told me that all the serious baseball fans sit between the mission towers.  Everyone outside of that, excluding the outfield seats, he considered amateur watchers.  A lot of this stems from being posted there for Padres/Dodgers games where tons of fights originate in those outfield upper deck seats.  They also unequivocally agreed that the Dodgers fans were the worst when it comes to unruliness.  One said that he'd been assaulted twice by Dodgers fans while he responded to complaints.  I had no idea that ushers would put themselves into danger like that, I just assumed they got on the radio and called in the Elite Security rent-a-cops.

3.  One usher was very upset that the team got rid of Breakfast at the Park this season.  He said, personally, that his family really enjoyed going, and for many people, it was their only chance to ever set foot on the field.  From the usher standpoint, they liked that it was easy to watch over, didn't require tons of manpower, and the fans all went away happy.  They said they have received many complaints from patrons about this being pulled this year.

4.  The ushers agreed that the team needed to bring back the brown uniforms to build an identity.  They said that at least when you watched the team pre-90's you knew they were the Padres.  One said what we've all noticed, that you can't tell the difference between the Brewers and the Padres when they are on the field.

5.  The ushers have across the board received complaints about the elimination of the free mini program.  Instead, they now give out a roster card.  Personally, I liked reading the articles every month, liked seeing how Chris Denorfia plays with his dog in the Petco player/dogs section, and it was nice when you got to the game early, to be able to flip through some physical media instead of playing on Twitter like usual.  The ushers heard it was a cost saving move.  Boo.

6.  I asked a lot about all of the season ticket holder complaints from last season about cutting usher shifts, moving ushers around, and pretty much changing up the long standing routines.  I remember the first conference calls with fans that were offered were dominated by people complaining about how their section's usher wasn't there anymore.  As someone who doesn't care about ushers in my section, I never understood the complaints.  After all, as a season ticket holder, I know where my seats are.  I sit there 40 times a year, I don't need any usher assistance.  But a lot of people think differently about their ushers.  I confirmed with these ushers that the primary complainants are The Olds demographically.  The ushers felt honored that their sections stood up for them.  Due to the cost cutting move to reduce usher hours and spread them out over several sections, the ushers had their incomes cut greatly.  Many saw reduced shifts.  There is apparently a structure in place that allows the ushers with the most seniority to take on way more shifts, so they did OK with the changes, but all of the other guys suffered.  They were happy to see their shifts come back after the complaints and are thankful people stuck up for them.

7.  On the whole, the ushers liked Tom Garfinkel and his work with the team.  They all saw the game experience get better, and felt that Garfinkel really pushed customer service.  The also acknowledged what many of us talk about, that the improvement in fan service was likely far cheaper than it would be to improve the on-field performance.  But at least they improved something, it was better than previous regimes double whammy of crappy team and crappy gameday experience.  They also said they liked the new ownership, and the current Padres management staff has good direction and is pushing the fan experience and customer service as well.  Good for us fans.

8.  They don't like Enberg, and they LOVE Ted Leitner.  They think Enberg is a publicity stunt and prefer when there's a real San Diegan like Bob Chandler or Ted Leitner on the air.  They also love Matt Vasgersian, and thought he was the only non-San Diegan that could really do it well.  

I thought talking with these guys was incredibly interesting.  They all love Nate Colbert and recounted his bombs over the 17 foot wall at Jack Murphy.  It was nice to hear a little inside baseball stuff from them.  It was even nicer that the Padres won and a had an encouraging homestand. 

Jedd Gyorko Night in San Diego

In a stroke of marketing genius, the Padres and Wayne Partello have designated tonight Jedd Gyorko Replica Jersey Night, which CONVENIENTLY coincides with Jedd being signed to a long term contract.  On a personal note, I'm going to a group event that the man himself, Jedd Gyorko, will be stopping by at before the game, so I'm pumped.  I hope he shakes me hand and I never wash that hand again and it ends up giving my baby some type of illness.  It'll be totally worth it and I'll tell her someday that I passed along Gyorkoitis to her and she'll laugh and laugh about the good old days.

With any luck, the Cashner Replica Jersey Night will also CONVENIENTLY coincide with a Cashner long term contract.  We will see.  For now, we are facing the hated Giants and I am [not] looking forward to a Petco Park full of SF Giants simpleton fans. 

To celebrate the occasion, here's a SCLUSIE photo of Jedd literally dropping logs on noted human garbage disposal and sperm whale impersonator, Pablo Sandoval.  Knowing Pablo, he'll mistake the logs for Snickers bars and exclaim "YUMMY NUMMY IN MY TUMMY!".  What a rube.

Man, Do I Hate Those Giants - A Rebuke of the Stupid San Francisco Giants and Their Stupid Stadium

So yesterday didn't go according to plan for the Padres.  Needing one win to get back to .500, the team blew it.  The Padres new/old BIG BAT, Xavier Nady, cleanup hitter extraordinaire, hit a bomb, and that was about it for the offense.  Ian Kennedy threw 6 great innings, and then coinciding with me reaching the black zone, started to implode and gave up 3 runs and that was that.

Now the stupid Giants are in town.  That means stupid Giants fans are in town also.  A lot of people hate the Dogers the most, but call me a non-conformist, I kind of hate the Giants the most.  They are managed by ol' Big Head McGee Bochy, a man that could take losing Padres baseball better than anyone, easing into a simple "gotta tip your cap to them" quote after every terrible loss.  Their stadium is OK and all, but I will go to the grave saying that Petco is about equal to AT&T.  You walk in and are met with a hot pink glowing escalator to Virgin America level at AT&T with bumping, lame club music and neon.  Ha ha, key word: virgins.  Meanwhile us Padres fans are knee deep in poon, pounding slit left and right, AMIRITE GUYS?!?!?  Especially us bloggers!  Sure CF is cool with all the food and crap, but it's not a great place to watch the game.  And WOW, you can kayak in the frigid waters off RF that's named for former Padres great Willie McCovey.  GET YOUR OWN LEGENDS TO NAME STUFF AFTER, GIANTS!  Next thing you know, they'll be naming their left field bleachers the Kevin Mitchell Porch.  HE'S OUR KEVIN MITCHELL!  I had the pleasure/horror of sitting in their RF upper deck last season.  You feel so much further from the field there than you do in similar seats at Petco.  The food wasn't as good, the beer wasn't nearly as good.  Anchor Steam is available in every grocery store from here to Augusta, Maine.  It's not a special microbrew you can only get in San Francisco, yet it's pushed everywhere.  Get back to me when you have something of the quality of Speedway Stout on tap at your stupid park. 

Tonight, noted penis-eater Matt Cain takes the hill for the putrid Giants.  Future All Star Tyson Ross is on the hill for the Padres and I've got a real feeling we are looking at the first no-hitter in Padres history.  What, you think human garbage disposal Pablo Sandoval is going to hit Ross' unfair slider?  Doubtful, he hasn't been able to see his penis when looking down for going on 13 years now.  Hunter Pence?  Not even worth a half pence (CURRENCY HUMOR!).  So everyone sit back, and let's watch the Giants get totally dismantled before our FEARSOME offense (Mike Dee said today, if we are just patient enough, the team will come alive offensively.  Huston Street also said verbatim "we don't have an outstanding offense".  CONFIDENCE!). 

Staring .500 in the Face - BEAT THE SUPER LAME ROCKIES

 
After an all around crushing victory by the Padres last night, led by totally awesome Andrew Cashner, future mayor of San Diego, the Padres have clawed to within one win from the vaunted .500 mark.  This means big things for the team.  Mainly the people that jumped off the tiny bandwagon at the start of the season may start trying to jump back on.  We'll make room, it's fine.  If they win today, it's like the season is starting all over again this weekend against the stupid Giants.  Son of Troy Ian Kennedy is on the mound today, let's hope he doesn't keep up his weakest link act and shuts down the Rockies.  CarGo hasn't really gotten going and hopefully they can keep it that way.  The Padres face complete nobody Franklin Morales who seems much more interested in satisfying his base instincts than throwing dominating pitches (see above!).  I fully expect Jedd Gyorko to have 5 RBIs today as he is just getting warmed up for his RBI night on his jersey night Saturday. 

Here at Padres Jagoff HQ, we are looking at debuting a new mythological rally animal, IF NEEDED for today.  We will also be at the game after several hours of downtown binge drinking.  Come join, I have a Southpaw Social Livingsocial voucher to burn today.  Go Padres!

Padres To Keep the Roll Going Versus Stupid Rockies and Buttface Troy Tulowitzki

After a riveting and hilarious victory last night over the putrid Rockies, the Padres are set to keep the roll going against their hated rivals tonight.  Led by Rowdy Robbie Erlin, I really can't see any way they'll lose.  They are slowly clawing their way towards .500 and have a firm grasp on the coveted 3rd place spot in the standings.  Things are really coming up Padres!  The only real problem is Bud Black's continued insistence on putting Alexi Amarista into CF, and worse, 2nd in the lineup.  I'm sure ol' sabermetric Bud is all like, HEY, Lil' Ninja is 2nd on the team in OPS (After NICK HUNDLEY), I'm just using the math.  Let's face it, we all love him because he's the Tyrion Lannister of the team.  But even Tywin knows not to put Tyrion 2nd in his jousting lineup.  Alexi is a great end of the bench option that can play a lot of positions.  He's not a batting star, and really embodies jack of many, expert at none.  At this point, I think it's fair to argue that Will Venable in CF is a superior option with some combination of Tommy Medica, Kyle Blanks and even Jeff Francoeur in RF.  Francoeur might be kind of washed up, but he can still field the position and there's more upside to his hitting than there is for Alexi.  So come on Bud, Ghost of Ray Kroc is going to have a coronary if you don't do something about this.  Do it for him. 

Are the Padres Bloggers Shills for the Team?

There was a debate on the Tweeters last week about whether the Padres were just lavishing food, booze, tickets and access to selected Padres blogs to curry favor and ensure positive coverage.  Some on the Tweeter, Nacho Padre to be specific, blew up the issue and stated that the Padres were more concerned with getting good social media coverage than they were in fielding a team that will win THE RING (tm), and that bloggers were playing right into their hands - that discussing new food and beer at Petco was trumping potential coverage of the lackluster offseason and seeming acceptance of the front office of merely "being competitive" rather than fielding a World Series caliber team. 

I think an important distinction needs to be made between the Padres bloggers and journalists.  I really don't see Gaslamp Ball, the Friarhood, Padres Public or really any blog out there as journalism.  Let's get real, Gaslamp Ball has discussions of magical win-bringing unicorns and Padres Public regularly focuses on poop and binge drinking.  Nothing wrong with that, I totally embrace that here at Padres Jagoff.  And yeah, they cover news out of the Padres, but if anything, they are like the opinion section in the newspaper.  As a result, you can't really expect the blogs to maintain the same level of journalistic ethics as the Washington Post.  Most bloggers are just fans, and as super fans, when the team comes offering free front row tix and food, you take it.  When they offer you a chance to take batting practice every season at media night, you take it.  Because they're fans.

Ghost of Ray Kroc took particular offense to Nacho Padres' comments and offered him a chance to have something published unedited on Padres Public, which Nacho Padres responded to by blabbering about meeting in person and guaranteeing GoRK's safety or something.  I don't think there's any doubt that the Padres providing access, tix and food is going to influence their coverage.  Sac Bunt Chris stated that they have written negative coverage of the team, which is true.  But I think it will become harder and harder for them to openly criticize anything done by noted blog briber and Padres executive Wayne Partello, lest they lose their access and FSSD appearances.  Wayne Partello on Twitter even stated that of course they were treating the bloggers to free food, it provides positive coverage of the team.  I don't want to say it's a quid pro quo, but I also think it's pretty clear that it becomes harder and harder to be objective about a team when they are continually throwing out perks for the bloggers.  I also can't imagine a scenario where someone like RJs Fro would be comfortable openly criticizing Jesse Eagler, for instance, as they are now TV colleagues (and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see Rick on FSSD more and more, he's great on it). 

Anyways, what I'm basically saying is yeah, if the Padres keep offering up free stuff, access, experiences and tickets to bloggers, it totally ruins their objectivity and in all likelihood will lead to more positive coverage and much more measured criticism.  At the same time, I'd like to say that yes, I am open to also providing ample positive coverage in exchange for free tickets, access, food, beer, and on-field batting practices.  My ethics are fuzzy at best, call me Wayne! (he won't, he doesn't even bother to follow@padresjagoff)

Ignore the Negative Nancys - Padres to Literally Eviscerate Tigers Tonight

A lot of Fatalist Friedas out there pretty much assumed the Padres would get swept by the Tigers this weekend.  After all, they can't hit and Chase Headley is the worst 3B since Mike Pagliarulo, right?!  I mean, who could even imagine them beating up on the vaunted RICK PORCELLO.  The same Rick Porcello that was rumored last season to be on the chopping block, the same one who a lot thought was going to be traded here for Luke Gregerson (who?!).  Anyways, the Padres totally clubbed Porcello and Andrew Cashner has really endeared himself as San Diego's hot new sweetheart.  STEP ASIDE DAGMAR MIDCAP!!!

More than that, last night's game gave the Padres fans hope.  It's one of those games that at least for the next month, fans can say they totally can't hit and they kind of suck, but just think... they've got the potential to play as well as that one game where Cash threw a 1 hitter and they won 6-0.  That means something when you're sitting in Petco with 14,000 other fans and it's cold and it's a 1-0 game with no offense. 

Anyways, Justin Verlander is pitching tonight.  I was going to draw a picture of him swallowing a dong, but he's dating Kate Upton.  So I guess he gets a pass tonight.  UNLIKE STUPID MIGUEL CABRERA.  I'm also hearing that the Rally Unicorn is getting testy in his stable for tonight's game. 

Petco Park Food Report 2K14 - Bringing Encinitas/Cardiff to Petco Park

With decades of mediocre Padres baseball under my belt, I've learned that one thing about going to Padres games that will always excite is new food options.  This year's club does not disappoint.  The Padres brass invited their chosen bloggers down for a media night and a food tasting experience at another game to test out all of the new options.  For whatever, Wayne Partello and the Padres do not afford Padres Jagoff the respect we duly afford and blew us off.  Whatever.  I still took a nice constitutional around the park on Opening Day to check out and catalog the new options.

To start, I've long thought that someone high up in the Padres lives in my hometown of Encinitas, and possibly, to be more specific, in Cardiff.  A couple years ago, they brought in Cardiff's Bull Taco, and were very close to bringing in Cardiff's El Pueblo.  This year, the Padres brought in two more Cardiff joints.  Rimel's Rotisserie sits on top of the Western Metal Supply building.  The big addition is Cardiff's Seaside Market, an upscale grocery store, that is now sitting in prime real estate behind 1st base on field level. Cardiff is an awesome place, but it's not really where I would have guessed the Padres concession talent scouts were patrolling.  I swear some Padres exec must live in the hills overlooking the ocean in Cardiff and just wanted to bring their favorite places at home to their workplace.

When I first read about Seaside Market being added to Petco, I thought it was going to just be a small kiosk selling some salads and other assorted health foods that weren't going to sell that well.  Then I learned they were selling their famous Cardiff Crack tri-tip, which in my head, dramatically upped their Petco presence.  But I had no idea the true scope.  First, the tri-tip from Seaside Market can't be beaten.  It's better than overrated Phil's in that it doesn't taste like some simpleton just dumped a bottle of liquid smoke on it.  It's burgundy and pepper marinated, it's cooked perfectly, and there is no doubt in mind that Seaside Market is putting out the best tri-tip in the area.  It's also fifteen bucks, so I mean, you're paying for it.  There was a long line for Cardiff Crack sandwiches the several times I walked by so the price isn't really scaring people off.

 

But that's not all that Seaside Market has to offer.  It's basically the entire Seaside Market deli counter, brought to a ballpark at double the price.  They've got a pasta salad/cold stuff counter, a pizza station, a panini sandwich station, and a hot bar.  The pizzas and sandwiches were $12, the hot bar was $15 for an entree and sides.  So, not cheap.  But I can vouch for the normal Seaside Market location, their sandwiches are excellent.  The hot bar looked OK, but didn't really look that different from the hot bar at your local Grocery Bargain Outlet.  Not $15 good at least.  

 

I didn't take a photo of it but Seaside Market also has a wall of beer.  It's basically the 22 oz options that the Craft Beers of San Diego stands sell, but out on display better and you can grab one and check out at the register.  It'll probably be faster to get one of these at Seaside than it will be to wait in line at the field level Craft Beers of San Diego.  

Speaking of the Craft Beers of San Diego stand, I saw one interesting note.  While they are still offering 22 oz beers for $15 (my theory is that increasing draft beer prices to $11.50 this season is an effort to make the 22 oz bombers less of a terrible, maddening deal), they are going to be offering Firkin Fridays.  Maybe they offered this last season.  I generally avoided these stands to hit up draft offerings and non $15 beers.  Firkin Fridays, assuming it's new, is cool to see.  It said coming soon, so who knows when that will actually be.  I'm still holding out hope that the team can have more rotating offerings, maybe at a permanent stand behind home plate.  Like offer Belching Beaver one weekend, Manzanita the next, etc.  Keep things spicy.  Like in the bedroom.

 

 While we're on beer, which is of course the most important topic, the Padres took my advice and dumped the non-San Diego offerings behind home plate.  This means no more middling Kona Brewing and no hippie Widmer.  Instead, they've brought in Mission, Stone and Green Flash to sit alongside Karl Strauss and Ballast Point.  It looked to me that the Stone stand was the most popular, and definitely most popular with the bro-dogg population at the park.  It should be noted that Stone Pale Ale was sold at Petco last season, just not at Stone branded stands.  Mission has a huge presence, and has little missions (missions, get it?!) scattered around.  They also sell margaritas.

 

The Padres teased us in 2012 by putting Lucha Libre in the opening homestand's program and then cruelly yanked it away.  I'm sure Tom Garfinkel had a hearty guffaw about this.  They finally made good on the tease and put in Lucha Libre on the Toyota Terrace where I think Randy Jones BBQ was last season (1st base side)(Randy Jones BBQ has many more stands around the park, and in more conspicuous locations)(I think the popularity of RJ's Fro has really raised the Randy Jones awareness in the general public).  They were offering a surprisingly large selection of items to include their California burrito and their surf and turf tacos.  Along with the new Phil's BBQ locations in the Park at the Park and on field level, I think the Padres are really targeting the conventioneer crowd and out of towners that basically plan all of their travel dining around Man Vs. Food and terrible Guy Fieri.  Now they can just grab food at the park, watch a Padres game, and cheer for neither team.  The California burrito was $11.50, and I like Lucha Libre and all, but I'll probably still just walk across the street around the 5th inning to grab food at Lolita's.

I didn't take pictures of Rimel's, but I can speak for Rimel's as I've eaten at the one in Cardiff many times.  It's a place that does rotisserie chicken and grilled fish as well as anyone.  I walked through on the way to my seat, and the Rimel's Rooftop is not just a food stand, it's basically an outdoor lounge.  They've put in high top tables, counters and outdoor lounge furniture.  So when you really want to sit outside at a baseball game while not watching any of the baseball game, this is the place for you!  Half chickens were going for $15, quarter chickens for $12.  Don't underestimate their fish tacos, they are outstanding.  I'm also a fan because it is adding to the life on the 300 level where my season tickets are.  It was almost mandatory to go downstairs to field level if you wanted anything decent last year.  This season, with Rimel's and the new Stone beer garden, there is life in the upper deck! 

Just a few other notes.  The Padres added a Ballast Point bar below Hodad's.  It used to just be spillover seating for Hodad's, now it's a full on bar.  They serve the beers in glass pint glasses, meaning you need to drink it there.  Definitely don't go here if you plan on getting a beer for your seat.  Do plan on going here if you want good beer and a wider complement of Ballast Point beers.  There is an auxillary Hodad's location in the Park at the Park.  Hodad's added some outdoor seating to help with the crush of people.  I think last year, this spot was just used for employee's to yammer on their breaks.  

There are also some new, more pedestrian food options.  Or maybe I just didn't notice them last season.  At the top of the escalator from the 10th St. gate there's a street taco stand selling 3 tacos for $8.50.  I'm going to miss having Kotsay tacos this season.  There were also several Diego Steak and Cheese stands behind home plate.  Apparently San Diego is well known for our signature cheesesteak, which is a normal cheesesteak PLUS QUESO.  Groundbreaking.

All in all, this season brought the biggest changes I've seen to Petco Park concessions.  They aren't cheap, and you still can always just grab Lolita's and bring it back into the stadium, but for now, it's nice to be able to take out of town guests to actual San Diego joints and then wash it down with actual San Diego beer, something I've long advocated for.  Who knows, with this in-depth, legitimate journalist, maybe the Padres will invite me to next season's media night where we can talk MS Paint dongs and tacos.

Andrew Cashner is Daryl Dixon

With no Padres baseball today, we all get a chance to catch up on Walking Dead on our DVRs.  I couldn't help but notice that all time fan favorite Daryl Dixon is basically Andrew Cashner.  Trained with a crossbow, a skilled cocksman, experienced at dressing the deer, although Daryl has slightly less awesome hair.