Padres Beat Up on Dodgers JV Squad, Plan to Castrate Kershaw Tonight

After last night's thrilling victory over Edinson Volquez and the LA Doyers featuring one of the worst MLB lineups I've ever seen.  Tonight they face Clayton Kershaw who they will undoubtedly pummel, drown in a bathtub of urine, and then piss on his corpse, Tig style (SoA FTW).  Here's ol' Clayton enjoying a yummy snack!

Dodgers Are the Worst

We are hitting the home stretch in this epic battle for third place in the division.  Luckily the Doyers clinched last night so we don't have to watch stomp sandcastles in CF like evil Don Mattingly quipped.  Eddy Colquez is pitching so those of us at the game can look forward to a nice 4 hour game and multiple hat angles.  Here's Don Mattingly preparing to frot:

Tim Lincecum is Still A Zilch

I had the pleasure of checking out AT&T Park a couple months ago for a Giants-Reds game.  Tim Lincecum started and gave up 7 runs in the first two innings.  It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.  Today he starts against the Padres for a glorious 3:40 game (Mike Dees, more if these, less of the 12:40 games.  Also, more brown).  Since I've been in Baja on vacation, I'm pleased to see the Padres taking a firm hold of 4th place.  Small victories!  Very small.